This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
