You made me cry and you don't even care
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
