I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Everything about him screamed your future.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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