Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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