it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
