I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
