So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
