Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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