The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
