You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
