Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
love makes seman taste better
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
