ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
