It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
