she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I need to stop coming to work sober
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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