How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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