At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
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