yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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