Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
