sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Sext me about skeletons
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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