end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
