she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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