real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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