Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
