I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Randomize
