im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
P.S. I can't hear my feet
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
