shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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