dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Randomize
