I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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