i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
