we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Randomize
