After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Randomize
