Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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