Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I checked into jail on foursquare
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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