I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
