I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
