Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
