She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
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