Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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