Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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