East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
