FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
