What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
