is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
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