i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
