I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize
