I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
