Little spoons don't ask big questions
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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