we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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