Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize
