I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Randomize
