I must be too annoying 4 u.
Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
