Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
