Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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